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PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER IN LOVE

Differences or preferences is the foundation of most conflicts in any form of relationship.As Christians who are the salt of the world, living by the the dictates of the bible guarantees peace in the home and the society at large.

The challenges of life occasionally makes peaceful co-existence or habitation very challenging.On daily basis,the world is bedevilled with various conflicts which when not managed snowballs into full scale war with the primary victims as the family.

Breadwinners are lost,siblings become vagabonds and communities once known for thriving socio-economic activities are left desolate.

Many society weddings have ended even before it began owing to factors many of which can be managed if Godly counsels are sought and adhered to.

A marriage counsellor with good biblical marriage experience once narrated how after fifteen years and three children he almost divorced his spouse owing to some issues which many of their family and friends termed irreconcilable.

In narrating his experience at a seminar,he told his participants of how the issue of what area of the bed they both want to sleep at night was a thorn in the flesh of their marriage.To the chagrin of many,how can such a very simple matter cause problems?But it is very real.While the wife always prefer to sleep at the edge of the bed,the husband equally feels that position belongs to him as the head and protector of his family,a position that is God ordained.

This issue as simple as it seems brought about sleeping in different rooms and ultimately two year separation which was only resolved by the intervention of senior elders of their denomination.The elders according to him suggested moving the bed to the middle of the room such that they both could sleep at both ends.The solution was simple but never came about until God intervened through the elders.

Another facilitator at the programme while sharing their own experience said the love of pounded yam and okro soup was the bane of their conflict or friction.

The first ten years of their marriage was hell on earth.While the husband prefers okro soup to any other type of stew,the wife stated that the smell of it in their home makes her sick for weeks.His love for it meant that they found it hard to reach a compromise.According to the woman,eating okro was a taboo in the culture where she was brought up.While she offers him vegetable stew,he prefers okro and he wants her to cook it.Earlier in their marriage he would pound the yam and cook the okro by himself but as time went on and he became very busy,she bought a yam pounder to make things easy for them.Unfortunately,he still prefers to pound the yam himself ignoring the one prepared by his wife.It was so pleasing to him that he could eat it everyday.

While many relate to issues such as these between couples,others find it strange but it is only he who wears the shoe that knows where it pinches.

It is however pertinent to know that in any relationship at all,conflicts do arise and only a timely and divine intervention through experienced or trained marriage counsellor can save the day.

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